The Lord is my shepherd...

I'm not sure what I expected after that. I had heard stories of supernatural transformations where there were no more temptations, no more failures, no more struggles...only success in the walk with Christ. No turning back, no turning back. I wish I could say that's how my story goes. It would be less painful to tell. The fact is, although I got up that day free from my guilt and shame, washed and redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, it didn't take long for me to look back. I was as faithless as Lot's wife. I basically thought, okay, that settles my eternity, now I can get back to my reality. I tried. I really did. I tried to get high, I tried to speak the same vile language I had perfected over the years, I tried to pretend that nothing in my life had to change. I could still hang out at the bars, drink myself into a trance, and live my life the way I always had. This was just not possible anymore. Something inside me had changed. Every time the old habits and behavior came up, so would that still, small voice. It would remind me that I was a new person, and that I was bought with a price. The drugs didn't get me high, I would sit and think...'This is just a lie, and it doesn't really satisfy me at all'. When I spoke profanity the voice would whisper, 'You are a lady'. Alcohol was making me sick, and I was not finding peace or joy. I was not the only one who took the journey to the alter that day. The man that I had met made a commitment that day, too. Now we were both haunted by the same Holy Spirit, and He was around every corner, revealing our continuous sin, and bringing us back to our knees, weeping and repenting, sometimes together, sometimes apart...sometimes even for each other. We would read the Word, pray together, and share our faith with others from places we knew. Our faith, as we exercised it, began to grow. The wonderful thing is that as we were developing our relationship with each other, He was developing a relationship with us individually, and that, was the best high of all.