For God so loved...

As we found seats in this small church on the southside of town, I was convinced that I was in the wrong place. Looking back, though, I can see that it was only my sin telling me this. It was the rationale I had had been listening to my whole life. Don't conform to order, you make your own choices, no one can make you change who you want to be.I was convinced that there was some sort of agenda going on to make me change who I thought I was. Needless to say, I sat in that seat squirming through every worship song. Why was everyone getting so emotional? This was all too weird to me. Hands were raised, women were weeping, and even some men. This was absolutely not the southern baptist church I went to occasionally as a child. These people would have been pinched by my grandma for sure! Nevertheless, I managed to make it through long enough to listen to the message. When the pastor began to speak, I was immediately captivated. Every single word was like a mirror to my heart...how dark it was, how hard it was, and also how empty it was. He spoke compassionately of the lost, as if he understood exactly how they felt. He spoke of hope for the helpless, and an everlasting love that would never fade. Lost? Helpless? Looking for love? How could this man know? Why would he care enough to share this? I sat, stunned as my eyes filled with tears, my head hung with shame, as he began to speak also of a sacrifice. It was a familiar story for me. Of course...here it is. Everyone has heard of Jesus, and the claim that through Him, His only son, God reconciled the world to Him. The message was one that I had heard before. This time, however, I was the reason this blameless sacrifice was made. I was the one He was the one He was looking for, I was the one He was trying to reach.