beauty for ashes...

In order for me to be truly grateful this holiday season, I must reflect back onto my past. The time in my life when I was so ignorant of the laws of God. It was a time where I lost the respect of everyone around me, and nothing was farther from my thoughts than my Creator. The life I was living was for sinful pleasure, and was only in the interest of myself. To be truly grateful this time of year, I remember a winter. This particular time in my life is a blur. Details are hard to come by. I was a trophy of my enemy, and he nearly destroyed me then. One night I missed curfew, so I just didn't go home. This was the last of many times before. When I did decide to show up, my bags were packed and sitting in the driveway. I was 17. My mother and my step-father were so fed up, they didn't want me in their lives anymore. I walked that morning, cold, and confused. I found myself at a friend's house, but was turned away. I spent that winter in a stranger's apartment. It was really just an attic rented out of an old woman's home. I had to walk to work(about 8 miles), and it seemed to me that I had been abandoned. Little did I know that the God who spoke me into existence was preparing me for a future of hope. I went from a broken and addicted youth with no hope for the future, to being a wife of one, mother of four, and a child of the Most High God. If you find yourself today feeling abandoned, or without hope, I encourage you to seek out the God who created you. He sent His son to die for the sins that a re plaguing you. It is not His will for you that you live with guilt and condemnation. He desires for you to trust Him. He will forgive you of your sins, and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. This holiday season, I am so grateful for the gift of a fresh start.HE gave me a new beginning, and He wants the same for you. I was a worm of a sinner. I lived in condemnation and guilt for too long. He has cleaned me up, and turned my life into something capable of giving Him glory. This is the sparkling treasure I speak of...the new life He has given me. He has turned my ashes into beauty.

Forgive, and you shall be forgiven....

Forgiveness is something I still struggle with. It is something I have not been able to master in my christian life. It is so intangible. You can't see it when it is extended, and offenses are often more real. I am plagued with the idea that I haven't forgiven some transgressions in my past. I know I am forgiven by a God that loves me and sent His son to die for all my sins. This is not hard for me to accept. It is hard, however, to extend the same forgiveness to those who have wronged me. I am not talking about hurt feelings, or anything trivial like that. The forgiveness I am trying to achieve is for deep, and traumatic wounds. They are fresh everyday, and are very hard to get over. I tell myself and the Lord over and over that I have forgiven, but the pain and anger still linger. I know I am not alone in this struggle, and that is why I am sharing this. Forgiving someone is a very hard thing to do, but my God has forgiven me of much more than I am holding grudges for. We have to be open to forgive things that are unpleasant. This does not mean, however that we go on like nothing ever happened. Sometimes it is appropriate to maintain distance from the offender in order to protect yourself from being hurt in the future. This is something to be prayed about, and it requires much thought about the situation. If you find yourself struggling today, as I am, I encourage you to go to the Master of Forgiveness. Only He can free us from the bonds of an unforgiving heart. Let Him work on your situation. We might find some forgiveness in the process.

enter His gates with thanksgiving...

This is the month to be thankful. Gratitude is something that can be expressed easily, and often. I want to take some time to be grateful this morning. First of all I am grateful for my life and my salvation. God has changed me so much. I was once a rebellious, broken, lost girl. I had no regard for others, and I only sought to satisfy my own desires. My gratitude is for the way He revealed Himself to me, showing me that real happiness is found in Him. Caring for others and serving in His kingdom brings me more happiness than I could have ever hoped for. Second only to the Lord, I am grateful for my family. I have married a man who is fiercely loyal to his children and I. He is my strength. When I feel like I can't go on, He carries me. He is the priest of our home, and holds us all accountable for choices we make. He is a very valuable presence in my life. My children are so precious, and they are also very strong. I am amazed at the wisdom that comes from them. In my wildest dreams, I could never ask for a more unified family. Another thing I am very thankful for is my church, and the friends I have found there. When times are hard, someone is there to relieve the stress. I have found in my church a place I can serve and make a difference. As a preschool teacher, the children bless my heart so much. On Sunday mornings, I leave the church different from when I walked in thanks to those precious children. I am thankful for so many other things...my country, the military, my parents and siblings, the list could go on and on. This month I encourage you to show your gratitude to the people in your life. Sometimes it just feels good to know that people don't take you for granted. I commit to be thankful always, not just in the holiday season.